Mother's Day in a psuedo kind of way

Yesterday was Mother's Day, as I am sure you all knew. When they asked all of the mothers at church to stand, Matt told me I could squat. (he's too good to me)

In light of my current situation, I of course got to thinking about motherhood and the roll mothers, our mothers, my mother plays, has played, and will play in your life and mine. I got to thinking about the example of motherhood I have had over the years. My mother has been my greatest role model for how to be a great mother, not perfect, but the best mother anyone could be. She had a hand of both a gentle touch and a firmness when needed. She raised me to know, love and serve the Lord in a faith that I am proud to stand firm in today. I thought of my grandmothers and the life they led as a mother and grandmother. I thought about my mother-in-law and the amazing family I have blessed to marry into and the son she raised just for me. I got to thinking of my sisters-in-law and the mothers they have become, as I have fortunately gotten to see them all first hand become the greatest at what they do for their family. I thought about my friends who are mothers, which is the majority of you, and the role you have stepped into in the last few years and you have done it with such grace, faith and of course style.

I just sat in church in awe of the women and mothers God has blessed me to be surrounded by my entire life's journey. Then I got to thinking about what kind of mother I will be. Will I be a good one? Will I get it right? Will I reflect the woman of Proverbs 31, as was talked about in church yesterday? Will I live to the standards that have been set by the tracks and shoes I have to follow? I can't lie, I got a little scared, nervous and excited all at the same time. If you know me at all, you know that I doubt myself in most situations. I have always known I would want to be a mom and fortunately still do, but I think it's now the I hope I get it right I'm wondering about.

You see, on Friday, it all came rushing to reality that I am about to become a mother in a "this isn't a test run" kind of way. Here's why.

Ironically in light of the "holiday" weekend, I received the greatest gift an expecting mother could ever ask for, which was to hear my baby's heart beat for the first time. I was frozen in amazement and in awe of this rapid beat that wasn't my own. Matt goes, it must be working out in there, running laps around your uterus. Thanks honey. But WOW! I really have a baby coming my way and it has a heart beat! I suddenly wanted to protect that little person from what it's about to enter into this coming Fall. I wanted to sit and listen to this noise the rest of the afternoon. It was just the coolest experience thus far in my pregnancy journey. I mean, seeing it was great, but it looked like a little popcorn shrimp. A heart beat, meant it was this little person that was alive and growing so fast. It was just surreal.

I know I will never be fully prepared for what is to come, b/c lets be honest, with God's plan, are we ever really prepared? But I know that on this Mother's day, I felt something different. It was a new sense of highest honor for my own mother and the mother's in my life than ever felt before.
So, I salute you mothers. Happy Mother's Day to a the special mother you are.